PUT YOUR LIFE ON IT

A little something about putting your soul back together.

June 2011. 

My heart is in pieces - broken, I am a shell of a woman. Dragging my feet along, barely eating, barely sleeping, barely doing anything but feeling utterly empty. I made myself sick from not eating for days. That's heartbreak for you, it'll sucker punch you in places you never knew were vulnerable. Was I being dramatic? perhaps, it was the end of my first ever "proper" three year relationship, I did not know what to do with myself. My friends were there for me as much as they could be, most of them caught up in their own troubled relationships and others on the other side of the country at university. At 20 years old, I felt completely helpless, a hazy period of my life I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. 

About a week later, still feeling soul-less, I get a notification from a girl, Katie, who I barely know on Facebook. We knew each other as our mom's are good friends and we'd met probably twice before. We shared the occasional like on Facebook and followed each other on tumblr because we both had similar tastes in music. We'd accompanied our mom's to see Take That a couple of years earlier, and she'd already agreed to come and see Arcade Fire with me in Hyde Park that same month, but this post isn't about either of those bands.  

"I have a pair of tickets to see Kasabian next Tuesday in Wolverhampton if you fancy it?"

At this point, I was rejecting a lot of plans from friends, mostly because I knew all they would want to do is ask me how I was doing and make me go over the same details I'd already exhausted, but this was different, a band I really enjoyed with a girl who barely knew me and/or my relationship. Ideal. I played it cool though, I couldn't pretend that I was OVERLY buzzing, I was still in a funk, I also didn't want to scare off a potential new pal.

"yeah sure, if you don't have anyone else you want to go with I'll come with you :)" 

I had seen them twice before, both times they'd blown my mind, so I was eager to see them in such a small venue.

As expected, the gig was wonderful - exhilarating - as it always is with those boys.

I remember the gig incredibly well, we'd missed the last song and ran to catch the last train home, but I was still buzzing. The grin on my face was huge. I felt like the fire in my belly had been reignited, even if it only lasted a few hours, it was worth it. 

What started out a spontaneous gig with some girl I knew from Facebook quickly spiralled into something bigger, and from that night, something changed, the lightbulb switched on, the tide turned..

Throughout the same month I had began to put pieces of myself back together, I went to the Arcade Fire gig with Katie - further enriching our new bond, and also been on my annual trip to Glastonbury (another story for another time) I was starting the get the spark back in my eyes. 

July 2011. 

In some kind of a strange twist of fate, the universe gave me something back this month. It's hard not to believe in something as magical as fate when life gives you these little moments. 

I was at a house party and it was about 2am in the morning, most attendee's had already left, I was waiting for my mates to get their shit together so we could leave, just scrolling through my emails when I saw it - I'd been given two tickets to see Kasabian at the roundhouse as part of the iTunes Festival.  

I'm from Birmingham remember, I don't live in London. I certainly don't know anyone else who's managed to get their hands on these elusive tickets, but for some reason I had been picked. I remember gasping, absolutely thrilled. 

"Oh that's cool" - was basically the reaction from the people around me, in a sort of "I really don't care" way. 

Obviously I offered Katie the second ticket, if anything than just repaying her for asking me along to their previous gig, which had already perked me up so much.

We travelled down to London and queued for what felt like hours (it probably was) and got ourselves to the barrier like the true fan girls we had become. It's still one of my favourites, it's hard not to go into too much detail about the actual gig, because this post isn't actually about Kasabian, or me trying preach to you about how much you should see them live if you haven't (although you absolutely should if you like to enjoy life) I am just trying to put into words how these small moments changed my life. 

After the iTunes gig, we waited until September 2011, got ourselves another train to London and attended a signing for Velociraptor!, a month after that, we queued from 5am for 8 hours in Leicester for tickets to a small gig at the academy a few weeks later, there was the arena tour too and also a NYE gig at the O2 Arena (again, I'd managed to bag 2 free tickets to that one too)
The obsession was relentless, we saw them any chance we could. For two young girls working part time jobs, we pretty much spent everything we earned on that band (travel/accommodation costs inc) but I do not regret a thing.

Over the next 12 months, me and Katie would talk non stop, texting each other every day about pretty much everything, but mostly our favourite bands. 

I'd some how managed to put all the broken pieces of my heart back together and then form this ridiculous love for a band, and the passion for the band, fuelled the friendship with Katie - my new best mate. 

May 2017. 

To this day, I've seen that band 16 times (17 come July) A lot of die hard fans have doubled that number, but it's a figure that shocks a few people when I tell them. I've only seen them once since 2011 without Katie by my side. Only last month we bagged tickets to their small gig at Birmingham 02 Academy, except it's different now. Still amazing, but different. It's not just me and Katie, theres a whole group of us (a new dynamic which formed in Victoria Park 2014), and we're no longer barrier fan girls. 

I suppose what I'm trying to say through out this whole thing, is that there's always good times waiting. It get's better, you've just got to find something to dig your teeth into, it doesn't matter what it is - because although people look at me when I talk about how many times I've seen Kasabian like I'm crazy, it means SO much more to me. 

I'm still not sure if it's the band, the music or the friendship that saved me, maybe/probably a combination. I'm also unsure what might be today if Katie had taken someone else to that gig, what if I had said no. But I am grateful for it none the less, 

Very grateful.

Chanel x

A chronological order of times 

June 2009 - Glastonbury

November 2009 - Birmingham NIA (West Ryder Tour)

June 2011 - Wolverhampton Civic Hall

July 2011 - Roundhouse London (iTunes Festival)

October 2011 - O2 Academy Leicester 

December 2011 - Birmingham NIA (Velociraptor! Tour)

December 2011 - O2 Arena London (NYE gig)

February 2012 - Brixton Academy (NME Awards)

August 2012 - Brixton Academy

August 2012 - Leeds Festival

March 2013 - Royal Albert Hall 

June 2014 - Victoria Park Leicester 

June 2014 - Glastonbury Festival 

November 2014 - LG Arena Birmingham (48:13 Tour)

May 2016 - King Power Stadium Leicester

April 2017 - O2 Academy Birmingham
July 2017 - Benicassim Festival
December 2017 - Birmingham Arena (For Crying Out Loud Tour)
December 2017 - Birimingham Arena (For Crying Out Loud Tour)
March 2018 - Royal Albert Hall
July 2018 - Mad Cool Festival

COMEBACK KID.

Alright, my name is Chanel and I'm 27 years and 2 months old, which is 7 years older than I was when I first posted on here. I haven't blogged for 18 months, which came down to lack of motivation and a questioning of whether I really wanted to be apart of this industry. I'm still not sure about that question, but I really miss writing. When I'm bored I re-read my old blog posts, and I actually enjoy them, So I suppose if I enjoy writing and even reading my writing, then I figured that not much else matters *insert shrug emoji*

So, after weeks -maybe months- of trying to convince myself otherwise, I have finally decided to return. To give this blogging thing another go, not for numbers, or internet fame or any other agenda aside from giving myself a hobby and a creative outlet. Which I think is hugely important in this little short life of ours, finding something we enjoy and giving it our free time (as much or as little as that may be)

So let me re-introduce myself here,
*Ahem* Hi, I'm Chanel. I'm 27 years old and still get ID-ed at pubs. I have blonde hair, but it's not natural. I've been dying it since I was about 13 years old. I learned to read pretty early in life, but never quite got the hang of tying my shoelaces until I was about 9. I can't whistle, a fact I have both come to terms with and have known my entire life, yet, I still give it my best effort every time the topic comes up.

My childhood consisted of Pokemon, SM:TV and caravan holidays to Skegness. The first time I went abroad I was 14 and went to Italy on a school ski trip. I'm very fortunate in that I have been abroad many times since, and like most people, there's not many places in the world I don't want to see - I blame Lara Croft (a huge female icon of my childhood, alongside Ginger Spice, Misty from Pokemon and Sabrina the Teenage Witch)

I haven't changed much since childhood, I'm still painfully shy but I like to make people laugh. I haven't grown much since then either (standing at the towering heights of 5'1)

I love dogs, I have two chihuahuas, Bambi and Chloe. But my first love was a Shar-Pei named Jessie.
Last year, I made a resolution to stop buying make-up by brands that test on animals, and I haven't broken that since.
I tried being vegetarian but I only last two weeks.

I spend most my money on gigs and festivals. The first concert I ever went to was S Club 7 and 10 year old me lost her shit. But my first "gig" was Taking Back Sunday, at the old Carling Academy in Birmingham city centre. I loved that place, it was right next to a McDonalds and my bus stop to get home, but like most of the best venues in Birmingham, it no longer exsists.
I went to my first Festival at 17, it was Glastonbury, I fell in love with it instantly and I have been lucky enough to attend every Glasto since.

My school life was fine,but  I don't agree with the statement of it being "The best days of your life", I got teased a lot for wearing baggy trousers and black pencil eyeliner in year 8, but it trained me to be witty (character building if you like)
 I loved sixth form - FYI, I studied A-Levels in English Literature, Media and Photography (I still regret not picking up drama but hey ho) I made great friends in those two years, who are still some of my best friends today.
I did another year of art college before finally giving the uni thing a go, I attempted living in halls for one night before I dramatically stuffed everything in a black bin bag and called my step dad to pick me up. I continued to commute to uni from home for another two years before giving up (not a great time for my mental health) But the only thing I regret is not giving it up sooner.


At the moment, I am working full time in an office, still living at home with my mom and step dad and spend too much money on clothes that I don't wear often enough. I'm trying to be better with my money. In fact, I'm just trying to be better.

x

MY COACHELLA EXPERIENCE

One thing I really miss about Coachella, the dusty sunsets. 

A lot of people (including myself before I tried and tested it) wonder what exactly the difference is between Coachella and our UK festivals, what does Coachella have that we don't. There's always so much hype around the Californian Festival, especially in the last few years since the Jenner sisters have been in attendance and instagrammed the whole thing.

So i'll tell you, Coachella has gorgeously dusty sunsets, unbearably hot weather, and an excellent line up. There's always amazing art installations set up around the site, and plenty of choice for food. Everyone who attends looks absolute perfection, although they all look exactly the same. Coachella also has designated drinking areas. There's not a trace of rain or mud in sight, but if you catch it on a windy weekend (like I did) you'll struggle to drink your $16 margarita without getting a mouth full of sand. It's a lot smaller than I'd imagined, comparably about the size of Reading & Leeds  main arena, and the air of pretension is strong.

Over the three days we managed to see - Foals, The Last Shadow Puppets, LCD Soundsystem, Chvrches, The Arcs, Halsey, Disclosure, Ice Cube, Guns n Roses, Nathaniel Ratliff & the night sweats, Wolf Alice, Cold War Kids, The 1975, Sia and Calvin Harris.  

My highlights were; Sia, who was phenomenal and like no other artist I ever seen (and I've seen a few tbh) and watching the 1975 on sunday afternoon - I am not a huge fan of theirs, but the mood amongst the crowd seemed to be the most upbeat all weekend and whenever I hear them now it takes me right back to that moment. 

We originally bought our tickets back in May 2015 on the payment scheme they have, we paid about £40 each month up until December. Which made everything very easy. The most difficult part was finding a place to stay. We decided against camping, the idea of that 30+ heat with no pool seemed like a nightmare to me, so we hunted down a hotel. With Palm Springs being a fairly small place, all the hotels hiked up their prices whilst the festival was on (obviously) but we managed to find a place to stay at the ingleside inn (it's worth noting that this isn't a cheap hotel, but compared to others was reasonable) This place was famous back in the day, as it's where all the rat pack used to vacay - as soon as I found this out I was sold. So, we stayed in luxury, lounged by the pool until midday and then caught the shuttle bus to the site. Easy.

So Coachella, possibly the most stylish festival in the world..

What Coachella lacks however, is the amazing atmosphere that we do at UK Festivals. There's no idiot covered in mud, who's had a box of wine for breakfast. There's the whole "Yeah man, Coachella man" phrases been shouted across from time to time, and a little buzz of excitement, but it's not quite the same. It's hard to put into words but it is just not as fun as our festivals back here (sorry Cali) 

After lusting after a ticket for the last 10 years, I am so glad to finally say I have done it and feel unbelievably fortunate for the experience. But you couldn't pay me enough money to swap my Glastonbury ticket for a Coachella one.

Chanel x

A/W WISHTLIST

1 - ASOS/ 2- ASOS/ 3 - ASOS/ 4 - TOPSHOP/ 5 - TOPSHOP/ 6 - ZARA/ 7 - GUCCI/ 8 - VAGABOND/ 9 - RIVER ISLAND/

1 - ASOS/ 2 - ASOS/ 3 - ASOS/ 4 - ASOS/ 5 - TOPSHOP/ 6 - RIVER ISLAND/ 7 - UO EUROPE/ 8 - JEFFREY CAMPBELL/ 9 - TOPSHOP/ 10 - TOPSHOP/

*enter cliche "autumn, already?" phrase*

Here comes the fall season again, proving itself to be the most exciting season for fashion. I am all over the embroidery and ruffle trends going on right now, teamed with leather skirts and ankle boots - the edgy/feminine dream - Summer is great for sunshine and laughs, but when the cold weather does start to die down, so does my love for fashion. BUT I'M BACK.. and so is my buyers guilt (since I've already purchased a good amount of this wishlist - whoops)

Chanel x

I SPENT THE NIGHT IN THE 'FRISCO

(okay, actually four nights)

San Francisco is even prettier in real life, the cute houses, the scenery (didn't enjoy the hills so much though) and all the quirky little places in between. We spent our second morning walking down towards the bay area in the sunshine, people watching San Fran's citizens walking their dogs and playing "soccer", and the only thing we kept saying to one another was, "They don't even know how lucky they are". And they don't. I'm sure they absolutely adore their city, but they probably have no idea how the other half live. I have a friend at work who's originally from California, and she is so gutted she now lives in the West Midlands, with no beach and definitely no sunshine, because she didn't really know what she was letting go of at the time. 

That's what I find absolutely amazing when I go away any where, that all these people actually live here? and this just their regular lives.. not a part of two week trip they spent months looking forward too.. although I'm sure they have their own vacations planned (the grass is always greener and such) I fell in love with San Francisco right away, I just wish I could love my home town half as much.

Chanel x

CALIFORNIA DAZE

Do you know how incredibly satisfying it is to be able to achieve one of your life long dreams? no? well let me tell you now, pal, it's quite lovely. 

After ten months of planning, saving, then planning some more (and even more saving) I finally embarked on my dreamy adventure to California. 

Let me rewind, it's a mundane evening in the beginning of June 2015. I'm just winding down from a hellish shift, flicking through social media apps. Suddenly, Coachella announce their pre-sale tickets for their festival in April 2016 are on sale, out of pure curiosity, I click the link, after years of trying for Glastonbury tickets, I wanted to know how hard it was to get a golden ticket for the ever celeb-ridden, Coachella. Within ten minutes I find myself entering my bank details as I've just secured tickets for weekend two. Just like that. Once again, my impulsive nature got the better of me. 

  With tickets purchased, we were forced to pay up for everything else, flights, hotels, more flights. People ask me all the time how much this trip has cost, and I honestly couldn't tell you. We never kept track of money, just simply booking things when we could. 

  We planned it like this, 

LONDON HEATHROW > LAX > LAS VEGAS (2 NIGHT)

LAS VEGAS > SAN FRANCISCO (4 NIGHTS)

SAN FRANCISCO > LOS ANGELES (2 NIGHTS)

LOS ANGELES > PALM SPRINGS/COACHELLA (4 NIGHTS)

PALM SPRINGS > LOS ANGELES (2 NIGHTS)

HOME

If you had told me 18 months ago that I would be going on this trip, I would not have believed you. I had just quit uni, working a twelve-a-week contract and barely being able to keep my head above water. I feel incredibly proud of myself, despite nothing really monumental happening in my life, apart from actually landing a full time job. But, I have been able to fund myself to go on this amazing adventure, something thirteen year old me day-dreamed about during year 8 Geography. I've not only ticked it off my ever-lasting bucket list, I have done it all myself. There was so many nights out I had to miss out on with friends, because sometimes sacrifices have to be made, but it was all so worth (obviously) because travel is always worth it. 

  I miss the place like crazy. I miss the bright lights of Vegas. I miss the lovely little houses in San Francisco. I miss madness of Hollywood. I miss all my lyft drivers in LA. I miss the Palm Trees. I miss the sunshine in Palm Springs. I miss the shuttle bus to Coachella everyday. I even miss having to repeat my name multiple times to the barista in Starbucks, only for her to get it wrong anyway. 

I cried sitting in LAX departures, waiting for our flight home. Genuinely, and I'm not a crier. But I'm so pleased to say I did it, and I've seen Alcatraz, and I've sauntered down the walk of fame. Birmingham ain't quite the same since I returned. 

Chanel x

WINTER WHITE

Let's be be real for moment, it ain't legs out weather right now in the UK. You won't even catch me up in the clurrrb without a pair of 60 deniers on. Brave against the cold, i am not, but I am also not a complete psychopath that would put a pair of black tights with a white two-piece that was made for the summer. Time to fess up, a fashion blogger i am not, I'm just a mere gal with a love of clothes who occasionally likes to blog about it, who also may get side-tracked with things like real life.

When i agreed to pop this sweet little set upon my blog it was way back when the sun actually came out. A little out of time this may be, also because I don't think this is even in stock anymore, HOWEVER, it's from an up and coming company called luxemme, over here, who have many, many other lovely things that combine manchester cool with paris chic.

The two-piece itself has little eyelet detailing on the top half, along with tie up sides and scallop cutting around the edge. The material is just right, and I mean this as you have to be careful with white, too thick and well, not ideal for summer. Too thin and everyone knows what colour you knickers are wearing. I paired it with ankle boots and fuex suede jacket, I felt too exposed without it. But also because it felt a little too girlie on it's own. 

two piece - luxemme** // hat - topshop // jacket - misguided // boots - asos

This post is in collaboration with Luxemme.com