Tuesday 30 June 2020

PUT YOUR LIFE ON IT

A little something about putting your soul back together.

June 2011. 
My heart is in pieces - broken, I am a shell of a woman. Dragging my feet along, barely eating, barely sleeping, barely doing anything but feeling utterly empty. I made myself sick from not eating for days. That's heartbreak for you, it'll sucker punch you in places you never knew were vulnerable. Was I being dramatic? perhaps, it was the end of my first ever "proper" three year relationship, I did not know what to do with myself. My friends were there for me as much as they could be, most of them caught up in their own troubled relationships and others on the other side of the country at university. At 20 years old, I felt completely helpless, a hazy period of my life I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. 

About a week later, still feeling soul-less, I get a notification from a girl, Katie, who I barely know on Facebook. We knew each other as our mom's are good friends and we'd met probably twice before. We shared the occasional like on Facebook and followed each other on tumblr because we both had similar tastes in music. We'd accompanied our mom's to see Take That a couple of years earlier, and she'd already agreed to come and see Arcade Fire with me in Hyde Park that same month, but this post isn't about either of those bands.  

"I have a pair of tickets to see Kasabian next Tuesday in Wolverhampton if you fancy it?"

At this point, I was rejecting a lot of plans from friends, mostly because I knew all they would want to do is ask me how I was doing and make me go over the same details I'd already exhausted, but this was different, a band I really enjoyed with a girl who barely knew me and/or my relationship. Ideal. I played it cool though, I couldn't pretend that I was OVERLY buzzing, I was still in a funk, I also didn't want to scare off a potential new pal.
"yeah sure, if you don't have anyone else you want to go with I'll come with you :)" 
I had seen them twice before, both times they'd blown my mind, so I was eager to see them in such a small venue.

As expected, the gig was wonderful - exhilarating - as it always is with those boys.
I remember the gig incredibly well, we'd missed the last song and ran to catch the last train home, but I was still buzzing. The grin on my face was huge. I felt like the fire in my belly had been reignited, even if it only lasted a few hours, it was worth it. 
What started out a spontaneous gig with some girl I knew from Facebook quickly spiralled into something bigger, and from that night, something changed, the lightbulb switched on, the tide turned..

Throughout the same month I had began to put pieces of myself back together, I went to the Arcade Fire gig with Katie - further enriching our new bond, and also been on my annual trip to Glastonbury (another story for another time) I was starting the get the spark back in my eyes. 

July 2011. 
In some kind of a strange twist of fate, the universe gave me something back this month. It's hard not to believe in something as magical as fate when life gives you these little moments. 
I was at a house party and it was about 2am in the morning, most attendee's had already left, I was waiting for my mates to get their shit together so we could leave, just scrolling through my emails when I saw it - I'd been given two tickets to see Kasabian at the roundhouse as part of the iTunes Festival.  
I'm from Birmingham remember, I don't live in London. I certainly don't know anyone else who's managed to get their hands on these elusive tickets, but for some reason I had been picked. I remember gasping, absolutely thrilled. 
"Oh that's cool" - was basically the reaction from the people around me, in a sort of "I really don't care" way. 
Obviously I offered Katie the second ticket, if anything than just repaying her for asking me along to their previous gig, which had already perked me up so much.

We travelled down to London and queued for what felt like hours (it probably was) and got ourselves to the barrier like the true fan girls we had become. It's still one of my favourites, it's hard not to go into too much detail about the actual gig, because this post isn't actually about Kasabian, or me trying preach to you about how much you should see them live if you haven't (although you absolutely should if you like to enjoy life) I am just trying to put into words how these small moments changed my life. 

After the iTunes gig, we waited until September 2011, got ourselves another train to London and attended a signing for Velociraptor!, a month after that, we queued from 5am for 8 hours in Leicester for tickets to a small gig at the academy a few weeks later, there was the arena tour too and also a NYE gig at the O2 Arena (again, I'd managed to bag 2 free tickets to that one too)
The obsession was relentless, we saw them any chance we could. For two young girls working part time jobs, we pretty much spent everything we earned on that band (travel/accommodation costs inc) but I do not regret a thing.

Over the next 12 months, me and Katie would talk non stop, texting each other every day about pretty much everything, but mostly our favourite bands. 
I'd some how managed to put all the broken pieces of my heart back together and then form this ridiculous love for a band, and the passion for the band, fuelled the friendship with Katie - my new best mate. 

May 2017. 
To this day, I've seen that band 16 times (17 come July) A lot of die hard fans have doubled that number, but it's a figure that shocks a few people when I tell them. I've only seen them once since 2011 without Katie by my side. Only last month we bagged tickets to their small gig at Birmingham 02 Academy, except it's different now. Still amazing, but different. It's not just me and Katie, theres a whole group of us (a new dynamic which formed in Victoria Park 2014), and we're no longer barrier fan girls. 

I suppose what I'm trying to say through out this whole thing, is that there's always good times waiting. It get's better, you've just got to find something to dig your teeth into, it doesn't matter what it is - because although people look at me when I talk about how many times I've seen Kasabian like I'm crazy, it means SO much more to me. 
I'm still not sure if it's the band, the music or the friendship that saved me, maybe/probably a combination. I'm also unsure what might be today if Katie had taken someone else to that gig, what if I had said no. But I am grateful for it none the less, 

Very grateful.

Chanel x



A chronological order of times 

June 2009 - Glastonbury
November 2009 - Birmingham NIA (West Ryder Tour)
June 2011 - Wolverhampton Civic Hall
July 2011 - Roundhouse London (iTunes Festival)
October 2011 - O2 Academy Leicester 
December 2011 - Birmingham NIA (Velociraptor! Tour)
December 2011 - O2 Arena London (NYE gig)
February 2012 - Brixton Academy (NME Awards)
August 2012 - Brixton Academy
August 2012 - Leeds Festival
March 2013 - Royal Albert Hall 
June 2014 - Victoria Park Leicester 
June 2014 - Glastonbury Festival 
November 2014 - LG Arena Birmingham (48:13 Tour)
May 2016 - King Power Stadium Leicester
April 2017 - O2 Academy Birmingham
July 2017 - Benicassim Festival
December 2017 - Birmingham Arena (For Crying Out Loud Tour)
December 2017 - Birimingham Arena (For Crying Out Loud Tour)
March 2018 - Royal Albert Hall
July 2018 - Mad Cool Festival






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